Love, sex and interminable pop-culture references

TMI Tuesday: Lord knows, it’d be the first time

Swirly colours with text "First Time for Everything" superimposed
*Doctor Who Theme*

It’s the second week of 2022 (possibly – time has very little meaning any more) and the first time I’m doing this meme. Hmmm, that isn’t as snappy a sentence as I thought at… wait for it…

…at first.

When you’ve finished rolling in the aisles and being carried out helpless with mirth, would you mind reading the rest of this post? Cheers.

1. First app you check in the morning?

This is Twitter. I don’t have any other apps on my phone – I use Facebook, but rarely, and primarily on my computer, and I don’t have any other accounts – ie. I don’t use Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok et al. (edit the preceding sentence according to the year). I routinely check Twitter, since it genuinely is my only link to the outside world.

I’ve got WhatsApp too, which I guess is an app of a sort, but I’ll check Twitter first.

2. First kiss location?

In her bedroom, on her bed, just after asking her to be my girlfriend. I’d never been kissed before, and I had no idea how to do it. It was messy, deep and surprising – I didn’t even imagine that there would be so much tongue – but so, so good.

She kissed me again afterwards, which was also a surprise!

3. First major purchase over £1,000?

I don’t think I’ve ever bought something that cost over £1,000 (not even rent – the rent here is £950 per month and the deposit was paid by my grandparents)… and, even if I wanted to, I would never be able to afford that!

My biggest purchases have been video game consoles. My Switch set me back a couple of hundred.

4. First song choice in a karaoke song book?

For someone who can’t shut up once he’s started singing, I’ve got very little experience with karaoke. I know all the lyrics to the greatest hits of James, so I’d go for those (as long as it isn’t Sit Down), and I’d sing anything by Smash Mouth by virtue of them being my second-favourite band. But, generally, I’d sing anything.

The first and only time I’ve ever tried karaoke, I sang Gangnam Style. No, I can’t read Korean, but I knew the words phonetically… to a point, at least.

5. First internet screen name?

Benvolio. We were studying Romeo & Juliet (and I was reading Doctor Faustus, in which he also appears), and it seemed an appropriate enough sobriquet.

6. First break-up reason?

Oh, well done on opening up that wound.

This is still unresolved, and won’t ever be. I think the most simple reason is “dumped me for someone else”, but I’m fairly certain there were multiple other reasons for what happened. She was reading The Ethical Slut before breaking up with me, and I’m pretty sure that was a contributing factor.

The fact remains that I was being cheated on (and I knew it was happening and didn’t say anything on the assumption that it would end soon), and as a result, I find it incredibly difficult to trust my partners, especially if they have a celebrity crush.

It’s a silly thought, but it stems from how my first relationship ended. One word from anyone else and they’d be out the door.

7. First concert and how old were you?

Green Day 2002. I was 17.

I’ve been to a lot of concerts (I almost saw Staind before Green Day, but Music Man also promised the ticket to his then-girlfriend), and prior to this I saw a lot of classical music at the Barbican. I am assuming that you mean rock concerts, though, and therefore The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party at the age of 12 probably doesn’t count.

It took me long enough to get to a concert. I had tickets for blink-182 the previous year, but then 9/11 happened and all the flights got cancelled. Then Tom broke his back. I eventually saw blink-182 in 2004… I was going to go with my girlfriend, but – well, see above…

8. First crush?

My first crush was a very quiet girl who sat in the most inaccessible corner or every classroom. I had a crush on her for a very long time, actually, and until the end of school, I still sneaked a few looks at her. We eventually became friends.

At the time, I gave all my crushes code names. Hers was The Zebra Project.

Bonus: What was the title of your very first blog post?

It was “I really don’t understand some people.” The first sentence was:

It’s so unfair, sometimes. I try my damn hardest not to get so upset about everything and yet some things just whistle by. 

2001 ilb

Most of my earliest blog posts were angsty teen rants from a boy who desperately wanted a girlfriend – more intimate and love-fuelled posts than I had in my paper diaries, but still on a public space and intended to be read. My early blog posts weren’t good reads, but looking back on them, they do provide something of an insight into the teenage male mind, and maybe that proved useful…

…to a point?


  1. TMI Tuesday blog

    2. Just curious, how old were you when you had that first kiss?

    5. Very interesting screen name choice.

    7. The only assumption is singers or instrumentalists. But most will think popular music I am sure.

    Bonus: Intriguing title, interesting opener.

    Insight into the teenage male mind, you say? You could charge teen girls to get a peek at that, I’m sure they’d pay. 😀

    Thanks for playing TMI Tuesday. I enjoyed reading yours.

    • Innocent Loverboy

      2) 17. It didn’t go any further than a kiss (well, three kisses), but I remember it well!

      5) It’s really not that unusual when you consider what I was studying, my vested interest in classical literature and the dad I grew up with. I have another username (which I’m still using), but I only really assumed that after I dropped Benvolio when I had finished studying Romeo & Juliet. I was “Khrushchev” for a while, as well.

      7) I saw quite a few classical music concerts at the Barbican when I was younger, but I don’t quite remember the first one. I very vaguely – and this is going back to Year 1 here – remember seeing a show at the National Theatre which contained something called the “Moving is Grooving” song. But I assume that may have been more of a play than a concert. In any case, seeing Green Day was a pivotal moment for me.

      Bonus) You may not be surprised to find out that it was about a girl. Girls in general, really. The general gist is that there was a lot of pressure on boys to make the romantic overtures and that girls should actually indicate that they were interested, otherwise one would risk being made a fool of. I stand by what I said even now.

      I’m fairly sure teen girls would benefit more from the advice I could give them now than what I wrote when I was a teen. 😛 But my first blog is still in situ, so maybe somebody will read it and feel inspired…

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