“I couldn’t help noticing,” said the amused business-type man in the urinal next to me, “and I promise I wasn’t looking, but…”
“No, it’s okay,” I smiled, “people mention it all the time. I’ve got a massive cock, it’s all right. It does,” I continued while desperately thinking of a joke, “cause some problems on buses, though.”

Everyone laughed. I continued to pee through my six-foot-long penis.

This was a difficult endeavour, as my penis was six feet long and incredibly hard, to the point that it was almost touching the ceiling. If I angled my whole body forwards and put the right sort of force into it, I could hit the urinal (or the drain on the floor). I alternated between both while thinking about the Guardians of the Galaxy to pass the time.

I was just thinking about how fortunate I was that the anonymous man hadn’t noticed that I had an erection (or hadn’t mentioned it) when Robinson entered the toilet and pointed.

“Wow, look at that!” he said. “You’ve got to show someone that!”
“You haven’t seen my penis before?”

I was genuinely surprised. I’ve known Robinson since I was two. He’s definitely seen my penis, although probably not erect. And probably not that big, either.

“No, I mean show some other people! HEY! COME AND HAVE A LOOK AT THIS!” At which point Mane and my hairy friend came in.

“Very impressive,” said Mane. “I’ll go and get [my friend-who-is-a-teacher] and [the scene girl], so they can see.” And he departed.

Thus I was put in a position of trying to maintain an erection in a penis roughly the same size as my actual height, in order for two friends to see, when I didn’t really want them to see my cock, no matter how huge it may have been. It may not come as a surprise, therefore, that I found this difficult, and before I could summon any dirty thoughts, I was flaccid… and with a penis only a few centimetres long.

Neither scene girl nor the friend-who-is-a-teacher saw anything when they entered the toilet, and left quickly when they realised where they were.

The dream ended at that point, coinciding with my waking up, and while quickly checking that I don’t genuinely have a priapic dick the average height of a White Rhino, I made my way to the bathroom in my house, feeling both grateful and guilty for something that really didn’t happen.

I’ve got a big penis, sure… it’s just not that big!

“Hey, can I tell you about my penis? I mean, my dream?” I asked my wife.
“Do you have to?”
“No, it’s funny, honestly!”
“Can you tell someone else?”

I knew there was a reason why I have a blog.