You know Madonna ain’t got nothin’ on me
Beyonce ain’t got nothin’ on me
Christina ain’t got nothin’ on me
Everybody knows that it’s all about me

I haven’t had the time to do this meme recently, so it’s worth making the time to revisit it when I can. That may as well be now.

Today’s TMI Tuesday doesn’t appear to have much of a theme, aside from the questions, which are all about the participant (aren’t they always?). I suppose, in some way, that makes the questions more open. On the other hand, there needs to be a fair amount of justification insofar as your answers are concerned. But maybe that’s the point of the meme?

I just took a sip of Mountain Dew for the first time ever. It tastes of absolutely nothing. This isn’t relevant to the meme; I just thought you ought to know. Mineral water has more taste.

1. Defend your splurge. Tell us why you bought that thing — we won’t judge.

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of money on soft porn.

Like a lot of sex-positive folk, I always try, if I can, to pay for my porn. Scenes I review for Soft Porn Sunday are almost all from films I legitimately own, and/or from individual sex scenes I’ve downloaded, rather than the entire flick. I have quite the memory for this stuff, hence the collection I have amassed.

Most of this I paid for. I even signed up for a couple of sites and bought credits for downloading scenes. I’ve got DVDs, VCDs and even VHSs on hand in my big red box.

One of the most ostentatious porn purchases I’ve made was the entire Emmanuelle Through Time series, direct from the director himself. Most of this is now behind the DVD rack because my wife got really angry and threw something onto it, knocking the DVDs backwards and into the void. £150+ of hard-to-find porn and I can’t now watch any of it!

2. What is one thing you always take from a hotel room?


If you’ve used any of them, it’s unhygienic to leave them behind. I also appear to have a constant shortage of things to use in the shower, even if I do buy the stuff. It just… vanishes, and even if the little bottles you get in hotels are very little, they’re good for a couple of showers, saving me having to scrabble around for shower gel and shampoo I may not actually own.

Homer Simpson stealing a table from the free hotel!
“You’re stealing a table?”

That’s pretty much the only thing I take (although once I took a pen), but I know others who take a lot more. I once stayed in a hotel in Manchester with my first girlfriend, who took everything she could find, including a hotel dressing-gown! As Homer says, they expect you to take a few things!

3. What is one thing in your pantry you know you keep for too long?

I don’t really have a pantry (and I can only think of one person who ever has), but I do have kitchen cupboards, and the answer to this is simple: non-perishables that I am never, ever going to use.

I also can’t explain why they manage to follow me to every new location. Unopened black beans, dry rice, quinoa and freekee wheat. I know they’re all useful, but I’ve just never wanted to use them in any capacity… I use plenty of pasta, lentils and risotto rice, so why isn’t there more of that?

On a side note, there’s also quite a lot of peanut butter around. I keep thinking that I don’t have any and buying more, only to discover another jar in some cupboard somewhere. I really ought to look before I do this…

4. Which game show sums up your life?

Hmmm. The options for this one are:

a. Jeopardy!
b. Family Feud
c. The Price is Right
d. The Dating Game

I’m at a loss to what most of these are, although Brucie hosted The Price Is Right over here, I never watched a single episode. In all honesty, I’m only really vaguely aware of the concepts of all the others.

I’m very fond of Knightmare – it’s my favourite programme of all time – but I’m not entirely sure a fantasy game set in a completely unreal dungeon sums up my life (although probably my choice of fiction genre!).

Maybe it could be University Challenge? I’ve been to university and I’m constantly finding life a challenge.

5. When all is said and done, will you have said more than you have done?

Oh, I have an answer for this one!