I didn’t understand it at the time and I still don’t.

You were very quick at the time to turn this into something I did. This was something YOU did. It wouldn’t have happened at all if you hadn’t done it and you know that. I’d like to think you had known that at the time, but I’ve no way of corroborating that.

Nevertheless, you took my reaction – which was much milder than I would have usually reacted – and turned it into a “thing I did”. You can out of it looking like a person who had been wronged. Nobody heard your side of the story and thought anything else.

The thing is that it shouldn’t have been a “story” to work through. It shouldn’t have happened. YOU shouldn’t have done it.

I didn’t mention this at the time, but it shouldn’t have even been an option! You didn’t offer me any sort of explanation, other than that you just did it, and when I asked why you did it when you knew how badly it would upset me, you said you didn’t know and then hinted that you wanted to upset me.

Worst of all, you turned this into something that I did, and called your mother who then tried to advise you to finish things with me because of something, I remind you, that YOU did.

This was a long time ago, yes. But it still comes to me in my dark moments or when I think too much. I see things on social media now that bring it back to me. I can’t let it go because it’s not something I did that I can make peace with or justify. This is something you did. You never justified it because you didn’t think you needed to.

I didn’t even get an apology from you and you expected one from me because of something I didn’t even do.

I’m writing this here because I’m fairly certain that you don’t read my blog any more. To all intents and purposes you have moved on. I mean, sure, we all change over time; I’m now 39 because it was my birthday yesterday. But I will never forget this – I will never forget what you did and how I reacted. I wish, I wish, I wish that it had never happened. Not just for my sake, either.

When you got up to walk away I thought for a second that you were getting up to come around to my side of the table, give me a hug and a kiss and tell me that you were sorry for what you did when you knew how it would affect me. I didn’t realise you were storming off until a few seconds too late.

I will admit that later on that day I asked you to never mention it again on the condition that our lesson learned at the time was that this sort of thing was unnecessary.

You said

What we have learned today is that you are pathetic.

which is not really what I wanted to hear. In fact, you said it twice, with a huge smile on your face.

Was this you trying to hurt me again?

I’m writing this on my blog because it’s my creative outlet, and hey, this is about a relationship, so it kind of fits the theme. But I want to tell you this:

I am not pathetic.

And you know that. You just didn’t want to admit it because you didn’t want to admit you did anything wrong.

But it still hurts, and that’s why I’m saying this.