The thing that I notice first is that it’s amazing I’m up at all, when one considers the fact that I was out of bed from some time approximating 3:45am until 11:59pm the previous day (and awake for even longer…). Assuming as I had been that I’d be asleep for all-of-Thursday, I woke up… eventually. So here I am, awake, moving about (to a point), drinking lemon squash because the milk has gone off and so I can’t do coffee.
I haven’t yet put pants on because I spent the whole night thinking about porn and really ought to get whatever that is out of my system.
It’s a relaxing experience, wanking to porn. The more ‘classic’ image – greasy old man from Slough or spotty teenage herbert hunched over in front of their keyboard whacking off to a pair of boobs it took their 56k modem a while to download – isn’t my experience. I like to take my time – if I have 47 minutes to spare before my wife gets home, then I’m going to use my 47 minutes. After all, I tell myself, the journey is just as fun as the destination.
That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.
So, as I cue up the porn that I had been thinking about and take my dick in hand, I’m anticipating an enjoyable time. I have an afternoon to have a lazy wank and, considering how horny I already am, this will be a blessed relief from what has been, frankly, one of the most baffling weeks in recent memory.
I need this – it will centre me. Give me the thorough grounding that I only get from being ILB. And it will relax me. I need that too. Plus, I have hours. I don’t need to orgasm immediately. Could go through the porn for a bit and then see what’s happening on Chaturbate ’cause I have an account now. I even have some erotica to read, and there’s always my imagination. If my dreams are going to invent situations like being in a relationship with a pair of very different girls – sisters, in fact – then I’m sure I can wrangle my thoughts into something hot…
…I have options, basically.
And that’s what I’m telling myself.
But of course, if you really, really, really need to finish, because that’s the release you’re looking for and you can always go back to bed afterwards, then the fact that you have all that time dickmarked doesn’t all have to count, right?
Because that’s what I’m now telling myself, with increasing desperacy, to justify the new fact that, less than fifteen minutes after I started, I’m rearing back, fluttering my eyes closed, and releasing a week’s worth of jizz all over my fist, stomach, and feet.
Ahh, the best laid edging plans and all that. I hear you.
I’m pretty good at setting an intention and sticking to it when I wank. It must be a superpower or something. If I just need to come, and my girlfriend isn’t available, I rarely need anything but my own imagination: lie on the bed, hand down my knickers and off we go.
If I want something a bit more luxurious, that’s when I’ll read erotica, or watch something hot. On those occasions, I like to think I’m seducing myself: shower, moisturise, sometimes put some lingerie on that makes me feel sexy and really take my time; pirouetting around the edge until I can’t hold off any longer. Lovely!
Jx
Hey, lovely lady.
I hear you with the edging thing… and with the intention thing. I’ve had my own experiences of lying on my back with nothing but my imagination (or even just a single word or phrase!) and it’s a very effective way to get me off. My disability kind of forbids me now from lying supine for any huge amount of time – I mean, I can but I need to make sure it’s not painful – and so this method doesn’t really lend itself to accessibility.
Most of my wanking experience has been in my computer chair with either (soft) porn, something sexy on a blog, a picture or some other stimulus (I used to be very fond of having cybersex to get there!), so that’s where it tends to happen as familiarity breeds comfort. But, as I said, it can happen anywhere and it doesn’t need anything more than my own brain.
I also kind of feel you (heh) on the seducing oneself front. Back in the old days, when I was single and living in my family home, being in a nice environment and feeling nice about myself was the sort of thing that could get me the hottest. Of course it’s all situational – sometimes you are just in the right headspace for a “luxury” wank whereas some are just “horny! orgasms plz! kthxbai!” – but the kind of buildup you describe there can be delicious…
…if only I still had that sort of time!