Recently I managed to reconnect with an old friend who I haven’t seen for years. Mostly business – I had some data I wanted to share with him – but, over time, the banter started up. I haven’t seen him for about a decade and it’s almost like we’ve never not been in touch.
Which makes me wonder what happened to everyone else.
Okay, I’m hyperbolising. Not everyone. I am well aware where most of my friends are (including, but not really counting, the ones who live ten to fifteen minutes away and thank you London Buses!). The ones I’ve been thinking about – wondering about – dreaming about, even. Those who have faded from view.
There are also those who I was friendly with, but wouldn’t really count as friends. There’s the girl who used to touch herself while talking to me on MSN. The one who would e-mail me after every blog post with compliments and hopes for the future. The SaLT who wanted my dick. Someone I was introduced to “because she’s a Christian as well, so you’ll like her”; she was open and easy with sharing her sexual escapades, and once told me
Beaver says:
theres this guy and hes askin me all sorts of things, like whether i prefer speed or depth and if ive ever taken it up the arse
ILB says:
And you’re just telling him?
Beaver says:
well he asked!
ILB says:
If I asked, would you tell me?
Beaver says:
lol
Beaver says:
speed
Beaver says:
and ive never taken it up the arse
Then there are those who has a profound effect on my sexual development. The friend I had who I told practically everything. The ex of a friend of an ex who wouldn’t stop talking about how horny she was. The acquaintance who not only had a crush on me, but also recommended porn for me to download. My colleague who had a thing for sex GIFs and hotel rooms. There are those, of course, who I did have sex with… and those who I didn’t.
All of the above are gone. The dearth of IM systems in favour of microblogging social networks is, I think, a major contribution to that,
[Side Note: IRC is still going strong. There are people I met on various IRC networks who I still talk to, but that depends on the network, and Real Life getting in the way. And, of course, people who vanish from IRC are often impossible to trace.]
which is a shame – no matter how much I like social networking. Can you even have these kind of conversations in meatspace? I’m sure I’ve overheard some stuff, but I do have to wonder how much of it is genuine memory, or just something I think I’ve heard once.
No matter. There aren’t likely to any very horny, very explicit women hitting me up on social media or messenger apps specifically to tell me the sort of stuff women used to hit me up on social media or messenger apps specifically to tell me. But it is nice, in a comforting sort of way, to connect with an old internet friend… even if it is all above board…
…and I won’t be touching myself while thinking about him…
…intentionally.