Love, sex and interminable pop-culture references

Category: Blogging (Page 1 of 2)

ILB’s meta-blogging posts. Blogging about blogging? How perverse!

[citation needed]

I posted this on Twitter, Mastodon and Bluesky the other day:

Hi, I’m your lazy blogger who doesn’t write a damn thing. πŸ‘‹

I’ve been all over the place. I want to write, but I’ve got a terrible weight in the pit of the stomach and the thought of sex is making me feel sightly sick.

(Realistically, everyone else appears to be having quite a lot of sex, and since I’m not having any, I’m feeling a little left out too…!)

Please excuse my sightly reduced presence while I try to sort my head out.

While the bare bones of what I’m feeling are very much there, I feel like I need to spin this out a little more. I don’t quite understand exactly how I feel, but the best I can do is this:

(i) I’m not actually lazy. Recently I have taken on a lot of responsibilities at work, not all of which were voluntary. I’m coming home incredibly tired and often want to take a nap, if not immediately upon my return, within a couple of hours at least. While I may be lethargic, you couldn’t really call me ‘lazy’.

(ii) In previous situations, blogging was my escape after a hard work day (or, earlier, a hard week at university, or while jobseeking, or… etc.). I could be having a difficult time but with the knowledge that I can go home and write openly and unashamedly about sex being a sort of beacon I could carry in my heart, it didn’t seem so bad.

(iii) However, being unable to blog due to the aforementioned fatigue in point (i) above (plus other extenuating factors) is resulting in the “terrible weight in the pit of the stomach” to which I referred on social media. Whereas I often think of my blog as a boon, for the past few weeks I’ve been seeing it as more of a burden. I’m not good at this.

(iv) Whereas over the past week I have masturbated twice, and had an orgasm each time, in many cases the thought of being sexual with anyone, myself included, has made me feel slightly sick. I’ve been enjoying my own sexuality like I usually do, but again, it makes me feel slightly off – like I shouldn’t be doing this (I haven’t felt that way since I was 18!) – and it’s making me start to doubt myself.

(v) The mention in the post about “everyone else appears to be having quite a lot of sex” refers to specifically what I see on the blogs and all over social media. Yes, this is due to the people I follow – I am aware of this; it is, however, also becoming more of an issue to me. People I know and like enjoying active, varied and satisfying sex lives was always something I liked to see… now, however, I’m starting to feel like I’m not worthy to even know.

(vi) Not having sex hasn’t bothered me so far (well, it has, but not to any noticeable degree), but comparing this to what’s happening to “everyone else” (and yes, I know it isn’t everyone, but look above at point (v) makes me sort of… lonely? Left out? Envious? I’m not sure how to categorise it. Whatever it is, it certainly contributes to the aforementioned “terrible weight in the pit of the stomach“, which manifests when I see that stuff on social media.

(vii) I genuinely don’t have much to write about. Yes, I ran a session about this at Eroticon. Yes, it is also relatively effective to open a blank post and start writing at random (that’s how this post started). But I still don’t think it’s working. I sat on the bus on the way home today and tried to think of blog post ideas and didn’t even come up with a single one.

I think the real reason behind all this is twofold: one, a bitch is tired; two, a bitch is frustrated. I have very little creative impetus/outlet and no real consistent sexual one. Even my porn habits are starting to grate – I’m starting to spool at random, whereas I used to have a few cued up in my head to go through.

I’m not entirely without hope – as I say in the above post, I’m expecting my head to sort itself out. Give me a few days without any responsibilities and the grace to not feel the huge amount of crushing guilt for not doing anything for my readers and I might start to feel better about it all. I’ve even had a bit of a relief today at work and things are already starting to feel a bit lighter.

It won’t always be easy to find either. And it may take days, weeks, years even…

…but I really want to make it happen.

Revelations: IILLBB

Two similar-looking faces representing ILBs 1 and 2.

ILB wakes up in bed with ILB. Briefly, they look at each other, an uneasy grin unfurling on each face. Neither of them know what they have done, or how long for.

“Time to start my day,” says ILB-1. “Want some coffee? I’ll go downstairs to get it.”
“No need,” says ILB-2. “The kitchen’s on this level.”
Mahar!” calls ILB-1’s dad. “I’m making tea; do you want any?”
“Thanks,” chorus both ILBs at the same time.

ILB and ILB take their seats at the computer. It’s time to write their blog post, which is a simple routine: ILB-1 opens Blogger, gets a compose window open and copy-pastes the HTML in first before writing. He had an idea in his head last night and this is a way to get it down. ILB-2 opens his self-hosted WordPress compose window. He doesn’t have any ideas; he’ll probably write any old shit and hope it works.

ILB-1 will be going to host a session at Eroticon about how not to do that.

Both ILBs click the publish button at the same time and cross-post to social media: ILB-1 to Twitter; ILB-2 to 𝕏 and Mastodon and Bluesky. Immediately after this they both open their blogrolls, one blog at a time via multiple tabs. ILB-1 is still impressed that Mozilla Firefox will do this. ILB-2 would have been upset if Google Chrome didn’t.

ILB-1 reads through a succession of very sexy blogs by very sexy people. The first ones he opens are by Blacksilk and Lady Pandorah. Each of them has written something new and he devours every word. He also checks on Lace Stockings and Silverarcheress. LucyBoots may have some new porn she likes. Bitchy Jones is still hitting people with stuff. Leah is busily laying London.

He finishes by reading the blog belonging to the girl he has a crush on. He knows where she is and how best to get there, but it’s only a dream, he tells himself. He’s never going to get to have sex with her.

ILB-2 spools through a succession of very sexy blogs by very sexy people. He opens each of them in alphabetical order and checks quickly. Most of them haven’t been updated in a while and he clicks off the page impatiently. GOTN, Emma and Robyn usually come through with something new. He still considers himself part of something, but he isn’t entirely sure what that something is.

ILB-1 talks about how connected he feels. ILB-2 fears that he is becoming increasingly alienated. Put together, these average out to numb. That’s a very good way to describe the life of an ILB.

ILB-1 reaches over to ILB-2 and takes his hand.

“Don’t forget what I’ve done,” he says softly. “However long this lasts… however long we last… nothing is not worthwhile. Years down the line, you will always remember this. And I’m sure there’s more to come for me, as well.”
ILB-2 nods mutely. “There is,” he whispers, almost conspiratorially. “It’s not all good, but the good stuff is very, very good indeed…”

They look at each other for a while, heart to heart but ten miles apart.

Later in the day they both get 40 minutes to themselves and decide to wank. They both have the same method, wrapping one finger and thumb around their shaft and rubbing the foreskin back and forth with their right hand. The left hand operates the computer, pulling up whichever scene of soft porn they can think of at the time.

They both orgasm at the same time to the same scene.

And connect.

Eroticon 2013: …and then we come

And so the Saturday evening social happened. It was a sequence of events.

I say that because I’m genuinely not sure what else to say about it. I ate too much food; I drank too much cloudy lemonade. Olly was chatty, Amy was sparkling and Robyn looked amazing. That’s what happened; I don’t have much else to say.

I went home via Kentish Town Station, having quite forgotten the farrago of the previous night, on which I clattered down the 100+ stairs in lieu of a working escalator. A helpful young man noticed me struggling with my bag and managed to convince me to let him carry it down the stairs for me – which he did. Thank you for your help, young man carrying bag full of sex things.


In contrast to Saturday, Sunday was a much calmer, more relaxing and relatively chill day. A pleasant surprise was the attendance of my dear friend Christine, whose name badge I had spotted at the Friday meet and greet but wasn’t expecting to see. It made me feel better to see her there, and I found her presence soothing.

Amy‘s session was nice and relaxed. As we should all know by now, I’ve never been particularly interested in adding affiliate links, but there were enough tips in her talk to help, and she was wonderfully composed while delivering it. Michael‘s first session – “Yet More SEO,” as I wrote in my notebook – was quiet but informative, and gave me an ego-boost by putting my site through GTMetrix. I don’t plan to use TikTok (I fail to see what I could do with it), but Sherryl seemed knowledgeable enough about it.

I didn’t take any notes during Michael’s second session. I don’t quite know why this is, but I’m really not keen on Mastodon. Probably mostly because I fear the unfamiliar. In any case, I now know enough about it to take the plunge. By contrast, I’m really not ready to have a Patreon, but GOTN‘s talk about it was so enthusiastic that I genuinely got some ideas about what I’d do with one if I did.

Goodbyes were said; the raffle was drawn. At this point it’s just become a matter of waiting to win the raffle, as opposed to wondering if I will. For my inevitable prize this year, I chose a book of erotica, and then sat with Olly trying to identify if I knew any of the authors.

And then we all went back to the pub.


And so that was it, basically. I ate some more, drank some more and then struggled my way down Kentish Town for the last time. Fair enough, it wasn’t the ribald ending filled with debauchery one would expect. We also didn’t get to play “I Have Never”, which I still want to do at some point…

…but it was Eroticon.

It looked like Eroticon. It felt like Eroticon. At some points, it very much felt like nothing had changed; as if 2020 hadn’t happened and we were returning to what was promised. At others, it felt so different that I began to doubt my own memory – surely there was more to ‘con than this? Was there something missing, or did I just have nostalgia for something that may not have existed?

But it was what it said it was. Frankly, I don’t even know what else I could have been expecting.

Explicitly, unashamedly Eroticon.

Good to have it back.

Eroticon 2013: …and so it goes.

As I said in my meet and greet post, I was uncertain about going to Eroticon this year. In the end, I did, and although I wasn’t sure if I would, I put a lot of myself into it, and got a lot out of it. Is that a win? Maybe it’s a win. I’m not too sure.

There are a few moments I want to touch on, but let’s do this in a vaguely chronological order.


The Friday night meet and greet was all right for what it was. I was one of the first there (of course), despite having stopped at a barber for a haircut and shave on the way(!); I decided to get a cloudy lemonade and wait, and although it took a while for the steady trickle of people to start coming, come they did. I was pleased to see Molly, Michael and Nick setting up (and nobody needed to ask my name or which colour lanyard I wanted – they knew by rote!), the sparkles on Amy‘s face, the incredible amounts of queer energy emanating from Quinn, and – of course – GOTN. Always a pleasure.

Seeing Olly, however, was a genuine surprise. I haven’t seen him for about five years and had no idea he was coming. He is still a genuine delight to talk to, and we vibed really well. That’s one of the things I love about ‘con – seeing people you don’t expect.


Saturday, for me, was characterised largely by the fact that I woke up incredibly early and got an Über to meet for the first time my dear friend Robyn. Robyn is basically the reason I ended up going to ‘con, as she made a very generous financial contribution that helped with my ticket and I felt like I should ingratiate her into the community (plus, after months of talking and flirting, I felt we ought to meet!). She took incredible amounts of notes in the sessions – I am amazed by her workrate – and, by the time the evening social came around (in which she looked AMAZING – we are talking incredibly stunning here, people), she was contentedly chatting away with people she had never even heard of before. I call that progress!

One of the best moments of entire weekend for me was introducing Robyn to GOTN and laughing at the amount of mutual fangirling that happened. It was genuinely difficult to tell who was more excited!

The Saturday sessions, even though I found it difficult to choose, I all enjoyed. Blake‘s session busted a few myths and gave me some stuff to research. I went to Dee‘s on a whim but really liked not only the content but the way it was presented. GOTN’s first session was great – I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t get to read this year, so this was a chance to pretend I was; plus, Robyn’s husky delivery made me hard, so thanks for that uncomfortable moment, gang.

I wanted to go to Neil‘s session all along and I’m pleased I did, for not only was it informative, he was hilarious! I ended the day with Dr Eleanor Janega‘s session – my one dead cert to attend, as I love what she does. This was a whistle-stop tour of sex history and she is a genuine pro (I wrote “she is a pro” in my notes, so it must be true).


I was fully intending, at this point, to skip out and go home to dump my bag and change my shirt before the Saturday night social. As it turns out, did none of these things. GOTN talked me into being one of the thirteen participants in ElectraStim‘s record-breaking chain. I’ve never experienced electro sensation before, and although I’m a genuine wimp, this was a fascinating and genuinely curious experience. Not altogether unpleasant, either, and I’m pleased to have been a part of something special.

And then we had the Saturday social, which was a sequence of events.

I’ll talk more about this later, I think…

2022 #orgasmcount (aka: “ZOMG! Easy Content!!!!!1 πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚”)

Everyone I know appears to have had a bad year in 2022, except for me. I’m not going to pretend that all of it was brilliant, of course – I’m not a maniac – but I did, in fact, have a relatively positive year. For me, that’s a major thing.

My blog has been one of the constants in my life, again… although this year I’ve mostly been doing memes. Whether it’s TMI Tuesday, Five Things, or even the occasional Soft Porn Sunday, I’ve just found memes to be a handy content generator. I may have had an okay year, but it’s been a busy one. Memes have helped my blog grow, although my favourite posts have always been the funny ones about my past.

This year I even wrote a compilation thereof, so, er, you’re welcome?

The Year

I had quite a confusing Spring, what with constant periods of unemployment and a pending wedding that I wasn’t entirely sure I could pay for. I did, however, get a job I really wanted, so April through to July were good months for me – even during the heatwave. July gave me a stag party thingy which was an excellent day.

Summer consisted mostly of wedding shenanigans, honeymoon wandering and then a few weeks of lazy vegetation. Autumn was a bit of an anticlimax following the action-packed first eight months, and maybe I’m still sleeping them off, judging by how little I did over Christmas!

I’ve spent the last few days trying to get over my cold (…if it’s a cold!). That’s pretty much it, so maybe there’s something more interesting to talk about.

The Orgasms

This’ll do. In 2021 I has 131 orgasms (more than I had anticipated). This year I had long periods of not being able to touch myself, but also some periods where I had many days to myself, in which I did it every day. My sexual desire has been all over the place, so maybe my New Year’s resolution should be about centering myself and realising where my sexual energy is best focused.

Fortunately, in the lack of the ability to do this, I kept a record….

117– the number of orgasms I’ve had this year (as denoted by a β˜… in my WHSmith mid-year diary)

That’s less than last year. I am still pleased that I cracked the hundred mark, though.

32.05% – the number of orgasms in a year, compared to the number of days in a year, expressed as a percentage

Slightly less than a third. That’s an awful lot of time with my dick in my hand… but still a little disappointing, for some reason!

And the rest?

Usually I’d do these in categories, but I’ve changed up what I’ve written so much this year that I thought it would be desperate fun to go through this…

! (11/1, 31/2, 16/3, 17/4, 26/4, 9/7, 11/7, 12/12) – these are the days on which I had particularly powerful orgasms, for whatever reason.

x2 (21/2, 1/3, 13/4, 27/7) – days on which I had more than one orgasm! In my early twenties, I’d have done this every day!

Leana! (5 occurrences, maybe more) – orgasms had while watching videos of porn starlet Leana Lovings. I’m not a big fan of hardcore, as you should know… but I do like Leana!

Nice. (16/3) – I remember this one! It was a very pleasant experience all the way through, and a relief I needed after a difficult day. The same could also be applied to Blissful! πŸ™‚ (23/8), for similar reasons (although I was hyped up on anaesthetic from the dentist at this point, so maybe…!).

Plentiful! (26/4) and Quite a lot. (31/8) – You don’t need a hint for this… just use your imagination!

πŸ™ (24/10) – a disappointing orgasm: too much effort for too little reward (and, if memory serves me right, I didn’t even finish the orgasm; it just stopped randomly). Fortunately there was only one of those this year!

Boing! (9/7, 8/9, 13/12) – my favourite thing to write as, as has happened before, these orgasms involve cum jumping in a pleasant arc, my appreciation of the aesthetic necessitating a mention of this!

The Audacity of This Bitch

This marks post number 58 in 2021, which amounts to slightly more than one post per week (1.115, if my maths is right). I promise I’ve been making an effort, but I’ll do better next year!

I know I say that every year, but this year I will, mainly because I want Robyn to buy me cloudy lemonades. Join ILB again in 2023 for more sex, porn and seemingly random screaming into the sky. See you there.

Top 100 Sex Blogs 2022

It’s the beginning of December and, true to form, I’d completely forgotten about this. Fortunately, however, Molly didn’t, and there’s – once more – a list.

I had to wrestle with the code (for half an hour!) to post it properly here, but I think this should work…

1Focused and Filthy@FocusedFilthy
2Girly Juice@girly_juice
3Cara Sutra@thecarasutra
4The Big Gay Review@thebiggayreview
5Love, Emma@EmmaAus27418832
6A to sub Bee@sub_bee
7Princess Previews@PrincessPreview
8Kelvin Sparks@kelvinsparks_
9Pain as Pleasure@bibulousone
10Beyond Non-Binary@girlieboy69
11The Beautiful Kind@TBK365
12Coffee and Kink@coffeeandkink
13Miss Ruby Reviews@MissRubyReviews
14Exposing 40@exposing40
15Betty Butch@betty_butch
16Still Searching For Prince Charming@SS4PC
17Emma’s Story Corner@EmmaXStories
18Violet Fawkes@fireandhoney
19Master’s Pleasing Bitch@MPBjulie
20Tess Tesst@jay_tesst
21Temperature’s Rising
22Joanne’s Reviews@joannesreviews
23Innocent Loverboy@innocentlb
24Poppet Subslut
25Denying Thumper@thumperMN
26Sex and Psychology@JustinLehmiller
27O Miss Pearl@OMissPearl
28The Smut Report@smutreport
29Happy Come Lucky@ht_honey
30A Leap of Faith@thebarefootsub
31E. L. Byrne Writer@ELByrne1
32Kinky with a TwistFacebook
33A Faded Romantic’s Notebook@romdominant
34My Dissolute Life@nLikes
35Ready for Polyamory@lauracb88
36Queer Courtesan@queercourtesan
37Little Quean Piggy
38Tall, Dark and Dominant@darkanddominant
39Naked Wanderings@nakedwanderings
40The Gentle Domme@TheGentleDomme
41Kinky World@mistress_kay
42Lilith Likes to Watch@BWMTweet
43Pieces of Jade@piecesofjade
44Cocktails and Cocktalk
45Corrupting Mrs Jones@MrsJonesMT50
46My Wild Lens@mywildlens
47Maria Opens Up@MSM1647
48Holden and Camille@h_and_c_dot_com/
49Witch of the Wands@WitchofTheWands
50Queer Earthling@threatganglia00
51Modesty Ablaze@ablazingmodesty
52Victoria Blisse@victoriablisse
53Male Chastity Journal@TheCagedLion
54Lillith Avir@Lillith_A
55Evolving Your Man@EvolvingYourMan
56Butt Stuff
57Lucy Felthouse@cw1985
58August McLaughlin@augstmclaughlin
59Kay Jaybee@kay_jaybee
60Spices of Lust@spicesoflust
61Sexilicious Ash@sexiliciousash
62Dancer in Chains@Dancer_InChains
63Jerusalem Mortimer: Between the Lines
64David Mei
65Love is a Fetish@loveisafetish
66[This space left blank for display purposes]
67Love Letters to a Unicorn@AuntieVice
68Adult Exploration@We_Fear_Nothing
69Hannah McKnight@HannahTGirlMN
70Wind Whisperer@_WindWhisperer_
71Meghan Madness
72Miss D
73Loving My Disciplined Life
74No Pants Endurance@nopantsenduran2
75My Sex Life with Lola
76Breaking Away From Monogamy@K_Ghislaine
77Oz Bigdownunder@OzBigdownunder
79The Poet’s Love Letter
80Finding Strength in my Submission
81J R Vincente
82Wolfie Toons
83The Drew Duality@dualdrew
84Deltoya Toys@DeltoyaT
85Eros Blog@ErosBlogBacchus
86Tabula Erotica
87Mistress Lisa’s Femdom Diary
88Abigail Storm@EroticaStorm
89Femdom Think Tank
91A German Brat
92F dot Leonora@fdotleonora
93Madam Mayhem@madam__mayhem
94Mistress Scarlet’s Blog
95The Sword@THEswordcom
96Morgan Destera
97Girl Spanking Stories
98Erotic Tales for the Visual Woman
99O and P Spanking Stories
100Anybody else
Pink button with the Chaturbate logo bigger than the actual thing it's promoting.
Did you know I’ve got a Chaturbate account? Well, I do!

Place 23 isn’t bad, especially considering how slack I’ve been with blogging this year (and the posts I’ve actually done have mostly been memes!). By no means am I going to make the top ten, but it’s seven higher than last year…

…for some reason. I’m satisfied with this, anyway.

My initial thought when reading through this list was something approximating “WHO THE FUCK ARE MOST OF THESE PEOPLE?!”. In fact, spooling through it again, there are less than thirty names that I recognise, and even fewer that I actually read! If you have a look on my blogroll, you’ll notice that quite a few of them are largely inactive, and a lot of those which are weren’t eligible for the list at time of nomination due to the rules!

But, then again, that is the nature of sex blogging. People come and people go, and while that’s sad, it’s always interesting to see some new voices. The fact that Molly managed to get a hundred (more or less) to populate this list stands testament to that.

ILB’s List?

As I think I’ve said elsewhere, I found it difficult to think of six blogs to nominate this year, since (at that point) a lot of the people I usually do nominate were either inactive, on hiatus, or hadn’t posted enough this year! For whatever reason, however, I thought them worthy of recognition. They are:

  1. Emma Austin from Love, Emma – This is a genuinely active blog, and there’s always something new to read. For that, Emma deserves props. I’m pleased she made the top ten.
  2. David from The Big Gay Review – David isn’t on this list and I’m not even sure if review-style blogs are eligible (but if that’s true, there are a lot of them here that shouldn’t be on the list either!), but I really like the way he writes.
  3. Ash from Sexilicious Ash – I wish she posted more (as I think I said last year!), but I always appreciate it when she does.
  4. Sweetness from Sweetness Blogs – Apparently she wasn’t eligible for nomination… but I did it anyway! I’ve recently come to appreciate Sweetness for what she does, and she’s a worthwhile follow on social media, too.
  5. Robyn from Robyn Eats Everything – One of my most recent discoveries and also one of my favourite people to chat to on Twitter, Robyn has only recently started, but I want to see where this is going! (Plus, I, too, eat a lot). I’m pleased she made it onto the “new voices” thingy.

And one wildcard:

  • Violet Fawkes from Violet Fawkes – Violet doesn’t post very much, but she’s chatty and friendly on social media, and when she does post, it’s usually something worth reading.

What’s next for ILB?

So what’s next for me? I’m genuinely not entirely sure about this. I’ve done 47 (heh) posts this year, and with 65 in 2021, I’m not going to be making escape velocity by the end of the month.

But, as usual, I do plan to have a few more things to write between now and the new year. I even – shock! – have some ideas about things to write, so there may even be some of those out (if I can get the time to do something more expansive)! I’ll definitely be posting in 2023, as well, as my blog appears to be one of the few constants in my day-to-day life… it’s always comforting to see it there!

Until the next post, then… and the next list!


First of all, this isn’t an “I’m quitting blogging” post, so maybe it isn’t really abut burnout… but there’s still quite a bit to address, so here we go…

This year, so far, has been a lot. The first four months of the year, for what it’s worth, were characterised by two things: planning a wedding, and not having a job. As it turns out, planning a huge and expensive event (followed by a huge and expensive holiday) when you are literally living by virtue of the tiny amount the Tory government gives you (and occasional boosts by your parents) is actually quite stressful.

[It’s fine, by the way; everything is sorted, we are getting married in August as planned, there are only a few kinks remaining to be ironed out. I don’t know how to iron, but that will come in time.]

Just after Easter Monday a few weeks back I started my shiny new, permanent job, with a contract and sick pay and pensions and holidays and everything. Yes, I am stupidly excited by this; this is compounded by the fact that I have – since I was about 22 – wanted to work at this place. This was the fifth time I have applied, the second time I have interviewed, and I still managed to get the job despite having fallen in a huge patch of mud immediately beforehand, so clearly I was doing something right.

A few weeks before that I came around the idea that I genuinely need to self-care, which is something I’ve never been good at. I’ve been making… an attempt. I’ve cancelled the gym membership I never use (I used it five times before I had a job, but now…), I’ve sorted out the books I want to read, and I’m steadily working towards cleaning our flat, which is too much for one person, but I’m doing what I can. The other week I actually baked some cakes, which I used to do every week, but just… stopped doing for whatever reason.

Every day I’m trying to do at least one thing that I enjoy (going to work doesn’t count), whether it’s an hour playing the new Kirby game on the Switch, strumming my guitar until my one working arm hurts, or reading a chapter of the book I’ve got about the North Korean film industry. If I can do that, then I can regain some sense of self, and maybe I can work on myself a little more. Is the idea, anyway.

LiveJournal: because you can't masturbate all the time.
You really can’t.

So. I have a new job, which (despite kind hours which give me most of my afternoon) is physically exhausting – but I’ll get used to it, dammit! – and I’m planning a wedding, and I’m doing a lot of domestic duties in this here flat, and I’m trying my best to self-care by doing things I enjoy. The time I could otherwise spend blogging is now taken up by things like washing dishes and lying down; I am aware that both my mental and physical health are not at their greatest right now, and although I’d hazard a guess that I am “coping”, I’m not doing so very well, especially when it comes to time management.

Astute readers of this here blog may have realised that most of the posts I’ve done this year have been meme contributions. There’s nothing specifically wrong with that – I’ve been saying since my session at Eroticon 2017 that memes are an excellent resource for the uninspired blogger – but it does mean that the things I started this blog for, such as funny sexy memories or unsolicited love posts – have been rather thin on the ground by comparison. Even contributions to my own meme (which is what gets me most of my traffic) have become increasingly rare, and the only reason I’m able to write long posts like this is because I’m off sick with gastroenteritis.

I know what this sounds like; it’s like I’m about to say that I am suffering from extreme burnout and that blogging is going to fall by the wayside or I’m about to take on a hiatus without a fixed duration or embark on an art project that will take most of my time. Realistically, I’m not going to do either of those things. Looking at my life objectively, my blog is the thing of which I’m most proud, and I’m not going to let something like this go, specifically since I hardly ever feel proud of anything!

But please excuse the dearth of regular posts and the overabundance of memes. I want to create entertaining content, I really do, and I’m going to make an effort over the coming months. Time is not on my side right now, but while the flesh is weak, the spirit is still willing.

Having said that, if anyone could buy me a truckload of coffee, that would probably help.

TMI Tuesday: Writing

Why do you write like you’re running out of time?
Write day and night like you’re out of time?
Every day you fight like you’re running out of time
Keep on fighting in the meantime…

Attractive woman somehow able to read books while wearing very dark sunglasses.
I like books, and I like log cabins, so I ought to be in this picture.

I am a lazy blogger, but one of the things I like to turn out is a good meme.

Some of the memes I find difficult to write as I have little to no interest in the subject(s), but I have been trying to do this meme every week, even if sometimes I find the questions hard to spin out answers for. This one should be easy, though, since it’s about writing. I’ve written stuff.

1. When you need to get serious, good writing done, where do you go?

I do practically all my writing at my desk, so I don’t really have a place.

What I do have to have when I’m writing is an atmosphere – preferably a silent one. I don’t write well when there’s noise, and as a lexical person I can’t write alongside songs. If I want to have anything on, it would have to be classical music, but I prefer to write in a silent, calm room.

It also helps if I have a drink and/or snack with me. Usually tea, of course.

2. Where do you look for inspiration to write?

You can’t wait for inspiration… you have to go after it with a club.

A lot of my writing is based on things that have happened to (or, more commonly, around me). I’ve got a good long-term memory, which manifests in posts about things that happened in sixth form or thereabouts – which you will probably have noticed if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time. So, if I’m really stuck, I’ll plumb the depths of my memory.

It doesn’t always happen like that. Every now and again I’ll come across something related to sex, love, dating, etc. and I’ll make a mental note: sometimes the best content comes out of nowhere!

3. If you could add anything to your office what would it be?

I don’t really have an office. I write in my living room, because that’s where my desk is.

I could benefit from:
– a much tidier room
– a clearer desk
– a repaired light (the bulb has blown)
– a clear side table

But I think I need to attend to all these myself; it’s not really something I can add!

I also need a remote for my DVD player. There’s only so much you can do with play and stop.

4. Are you an app calendar/planner kind of person, or do you still prefer a physical planner?

Raised eyebrow here at the use of the word “still”.

I am very much the kind of person that prefers something physical, and I am pretty much wedded to getting a new academic year diary every August. It’s comforting to be able to handwrite something in, it’s an easy reference, it doesn’t rely on battery life, and – apart from anything else – I can use it to log my wanks.

I’ve had a number of ‘phones that have a planner function – I’m using Android at the moment, which has a few built in, and the BlackBerry had a really good one – but I’ve never used one for anything more than morning alarms and “Doctor Who is on” reminders…

5. When you jot down notes, do you use pen and paper, or put it into an electronic device (eg. tablet, smartphone, etc.)?

As above, I much prefer pen (or pencil) and paper, and in fact I have a pot of random pens and a pad of Post-It notes for that very purpose.

Every now and again (because thanks, brain) I get an idea somewhere that isn’t practical – on the Tube, at a party, in the middle of a conversation at work – and I’ll have to resort to using my ‘phone. Even then, it will be nothing more than a couple of keywords, and I’ll still e-mail it to myself, so I’ll have a backup reminder.

It’s also cute that you think I jot down notes. I just open the compose window and go, you know that.

Bonus: March 15 is National Shoe World Day, a holiday that illuminates the need for quality footwear for millions of people around the world who go without. What quality pair of shoes would you pick to gift to someone?

It’s very difficult to buy shoes for me, because I’m a staunch vegetarian and don’t do leather (or silk, so I have to check fabric shoes as well). I have one pair of breathable rubber black loafers for work, one pair of multi-layer fabric trainers for the gym, and one worn pair of my favourite shoes – Converse All-Stars – for everyday wear.

Blue high-top casual footwear
I originally bought these because they’re not leather… and I’ve never looked back.

While I’m tempted to go with Converse for that reason, I realise this isn’t too practical as they are susceptible to rain, wear out quickly, and are tied by shoelaces, and not everyone can tie shoelaces. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to do so as my disability catches up with me.

What I would gift, then, is something practical, hard-wearing, easy to put on (slip-on loafers or fastened with Velcro) and – of course – vegan. Since my local branch of Shoe Zone recently closed down, it’s hard to find that sort of thing any more!

#FiveThings: Journal

First post of 2022 and it’s a meme. ILB, you predictable bastard.

In any case, this is my attempt at taking part in the new Five Things meme, with thanks to Julie from MPB for coming up with the concept. The prompt is “journals, diaries and planners.” I can do that, I’m sure.

When I was in my teens, before I stated blogging, I kept a journal. I wrote it, diligently – almost religiously – every single day. Occasionally my entry would be a couple of sentences (on two occasions I wrote “too tired to write”, read: “too lazy to write”), but more often than not, I managed to fill the whole page. So here ae five things about my handwritten journaling days.

1) My journal was written purely to entertain.

From the instant I started writing, I knew that the intent was for my journal to be read. Once it got out that I had a journal, I knew people would want to read it, and I knew that I liked to write. My aim wasn’t to keep secrets, nor was it to mention anything too explicit. I wanted my writing to be read and I kept that in mind.

2) Once it was read, it became wildly popular.

Maybe “wildly popular” is a little hyperbolic, but for a while, it was one of the few things any of us brought to read on residential trips, holidays, etc. – and I certainly took a few of them. Since I didn’t mind my journal being read (and it was written for that purpose), I was quite pleased to let it be passed around the group and let everyone read my words. (This may come as a shock to you, but some writers are self-obsessed, wanting people to actually read their content. I know: amazing, isn’t it?)

3) Other journallers were confused by my attitude.

Our year 9 History teacher once asked if any of us wrote a journal; three hands went up. His question was about reading – did any of us let anyone else read their diary? Both girls who had also raised their hands confessed to letting each other read (they were best friends who, at this point, lived together), but that it was private. I said, truthfully, that my journal was an open book (quite literally, heh…) and that I would willingly read bits out if people wanted me to. Neither girl understood this, but they both ended up reading it.

4) I wrote my journal with an incredibly specific style and structure.

This is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else ever do. Every journal entry had to have:

(i) A title – usually a pun, or a sentence, or a couple of key words… like a blog post does. This would range from “Xmas Day” (my very first entry) to things like “Venture On In!” (a Venturer day out) or “Droit du seigneur” (when we’d first done sex ed in school and I was amused by it). I did this accidentally at the beginning and liked it so much I carried on doing it for all three journals I managed to fill.

(ii) A quote of the day. This was something funny, clever or memorable that somebody had said throughout the day. My favourite was “I shall never make soap”, but that takes a bit of explanation to justify.

(iii) In later years, I’d add a statistic or fact (one that I knew; I was too lazy to look anything up) relevant to the day’s events. This went after the quote and was rarely a replacement for it…

(iv) …and/or a “moral learnt”, which was later still and only really appeared in “Journal III”, the final one. This was intended to provide a bit of humour – everything I write is meant to be humorous, really – but throughout the year it became more and more bitter and self-deprecating.

(v) Cross-posting appeal. My first diary was a little longer than my second, so I would write each entry twice: once in my first journal, and then again – word for word – in my second. Towards the end of my third, I started a LiveJournal, and when I didn’t have anything new to add for a journal entry, I would print out that day’s LJ entry and stick it on the page.

5) It wasn’t just a journal.

Because I’m… well… me, although my main intent was to write an entertaining, humorous, self-deprecating account of my life, my journal was used for more. Every now and again, snippets of fiction that I was working on, bits of a playscript (I finished the play, eventually, after photocopying journal pages), song lyrics I’d written, schematics for a droid I wanted, or emotional short-form poetry.

I started my journal when I was 14. At 16, I genuinely wasn’t sure who I was or what I wanted to be… but I was pretty certain that I could write anything I wanted. About anything. In any form.

So I did.

And I still do.

Five Things

Top 100 Sex Blogs 2021

Why won’t this work? AAAAAAARGH!!! Oh, there we go.

Typing is difficult when you’re sick. I mean, yes, everything is difficult – to a point – when one is sick, but I’ve been finding using my computer particularly hard, which is why I’ve been completely off work since Wednesday last week and written one single blog post in that time. Even in this paragraph, I’m doing the same thing: making an excuse for not blogging, justifying this through having COVID.

I mean, yeah, I have COVID, I’m excused.

This afternoon Molly put her list up, though, so I may as well share that here.

1 Mx Nillin @MxNillinLore
2 Smutathon @smutforacause
3 On Queer Street @OnQueerStreet
4 Coffee and Kink @coffeeandkink
5 Girly Juice @girly_juice
6 Focused and Filthy @FocusedFilthy
7 A to sub Bee @sub_bee
8 Cara Sutra @thecarasutra
9 Love, Emma @EmmaAus27418832
10 Violet Fawkes @fireandhoney
11 Obsession Rouge @ObsessionRouge
12 Kelvin Sparks @kelvinsparks_
13 Poly.Land @polydotland
14 The Beautiful Kind @TBK365
15 Naked Wanderings @nakedwanderings
16 Arousibility @Arousibility
17 Miss Ruby’s Reviews @MissRubyReviews
18 Rewriting the rules @megjohnbarker
19 KnkStriped @ZebraRoseSub
20 Exposing 40 @exposing40
21 Master’s Pleasing Bitch @MPBjulie
22 Tess tesst @jay_tesst
23 Temperature’s Rising
24 Joanne’s Reviews @joannesreviews
25 Princess Previews @PrincessPreview
26 Betty Butch @betty_butch
27 Love is a Fetish @loveisafetish
28 E. L. Byrne Writer @ELByrne1
29 Off the Cuffs @ocpkink
30 Innocent Loverboy @innocentlb
31 Happy Come Lucky @ht_honey
32 The Smut Report @smutreport
33 A Faded Romantic’s Notebook @romdominant
34 Denying Thumper @thumperMN
35 My Dissolute Life @nLikes
36 Ready for Polyamory @lauracb88
37 Nikki Nelson @NikkiNWrites
38 The Gentle Domme @TheGentleDomme
39 Kinky World @mistress_kay
40 O Miss Pearl @OMissPearl
41 Tall, Dark and Dominant @darkanddominant
42 Vanilla Free Sex @vanillafreesex
43 On her back @on_her_back
44 A Leap of Faith @thebarefootsub
45 Lillith Avir @Lillith_A
46 Maria Opens Up @MSM1647
47 Wind Whisperer @_WindWhisperer_
48 Still Searching For Prince Charming @SS4PC
49 Down the Bunny Rabbit Hole @luvbunnysl82
50 Witch of the Wands @WitchofTheWands
51 Holden and @h_and_c_dot_com/
52 Submissive Feminist @SubFeminist
53 Rain De Grey @raindegrey
54 Asrai Devin @asrai
55 Modesty Ablaze @ablazingmodesty
56 Life of Violet @v_greyauthor
57 Victoria Blisse @victoriablisse
58 Love Letters to a Unicorn @AuntieVice
59 [This space left blank for display purposes]
60 Sexilicious Ash @sexiliciousash
61 Queer Earthling @threatganglia00
62 August McLaughlin @augstmclaughlin
63 Corrupting Mrs Jones
64 Meghan Madness
65 Adventures in Sexland @sexlandalice
66 Spices of Lust @spicesoflust
67 Cassandra
68 Hannah McKnight @HannahTGirlMN
69 Life in Grey Places @hope4greyplaces
70 Loving My Disciplined Life
71 The Joy as it Flies @BeStillMyBeaten
72 No Pants Endurance @nopantsenduran2
73 Tabula Erotica
74 Hoplessly Hopeless
75 Miss D
76 Nijntje & The Bear
77 Ouizzi @ouizzi
78 The Lustful Empress
79 The Poet Kiss
80 Finding Strength in my Submission
81 Lascivious Lucy Ashwood @LasciviousLucy
82 Kinky katie @KinkyKatie9
83 The Drew Duality @dualdrew
84 Bambi Biohazard @BambiBiohazard
85 Mr E and Lilly
86 I have loved you long time @The_Other_me_9
87 Megan Ward @megwardwrites
88 Mistress Lisa’s Femdom Diary
89 Breaking Away From Monogamy @K_Ghislaine
90 Jen Dragon
91 Citrus and Sex @citrusandsex
92 Sex, Life and Everything @sexlifeandevery
93 GemStrong63
94 Raspberry Ripples
95 Struggling Peter Pan
96 F dot Leonora @fdotleonora
97 Ruan Willows Erotica @RaunchyIs
98 Eros Blog @ErosBlogBacchus
99 Oh Larney!

30 is a surprise, insofar as it’s a higher position than last year and I have categorically been a worse blogger in the last twelve months. There were less people nominated this year, though, so I suppose that may have helped a little. I’m genuinely grateful for anyone who voted for me.

I would say more but I’m genuinely out of energy.

« Older posts