“…and finally,” said Dannie in English, “we are going to talk you through the dating band system. Langt om længe,” he continued, before repeating the sentence in Danish.

I’d never heard of a dating band before, but it was such a ridiculously simple system that I was astounded nobody else had thought of it beforehand. If you were single and available, Dannie would fit a green band on your wrist. If “there might be a chance” (as was printed on the posters) or “if you’re cute…” (as Dannie put it), you could opt for an amber one. If, however, you were attached, then you could get a red one and were officially a no-go area.

Dannie, of course, wore all three.

My only real problem was that I wasn’t entirely sure which band I was going to wear. I was, very much, single at this point, and abundantly aware that this was my last chance to hook up at any Woodcraft-related event. I’d never managed it yet, although I’d kissed Leaf a couple of years prior. The instant she turned up to go to this last camp, the crush came rushing back. I’d never forgotten her, not really.

I had, as I had for every Woodcraft camp since the age of 17, packed some condoms, although I was never really going to use them. I was also in a camp full of Danish young people, whom I had been assured were much more shameless and sexually aware than the Brits. As the camp wore on, and the amount of casual nudity increased, I began to believe that was true.

I asked Dannie for a green band, as I was very much single, very much available, and hadn’t had sex for a very long time, so by that point I’d have had sex with anyone, although I would have preferred Leaf (on whom I had a crush) or Bella (on whom I also had a crush) or… well, really, anyone. I sat down for a curious breakfast of chocolate and white bread (I never understood this…) with the rest of the British delegation, flashing my green band, and…

…the rest of them, including Leaf, were all sporting amber ones, without exception.

I suddenly felt a massive rush of unspoken peer pressure, and when Dannie wasn’t looking, cut myself a switch of amber ribbon, tied it around my wrist and disposed of my green one somewhere quiet and dark.

For the rest of the camp I was, therefore telling a lie: I wasn’t going to be choosy about anyone I managed to not hook up with – although Bella seemed like more of an option, as she had her bright green dating band on show for most of the week and also made a point of following me around during the final few days – because, as I’ve said above, anyone. But, as a British person, I had conformed to the stereotype, declaring to the world by a thin strip of ribbon that I would only be interested in you if you were – as Dannie said – cute.

For the rest of my life, this has been one of my “what-if?” scenarios, although I seriously doubt nothing would have changed if I had stuck with my original green: although everyone on site seemed to take this seriously, I wouldn’t have ended up in flagrante delicto with a hot blonde Danish girl, and especially not in my tiny one-man tent, even if I had worn a neon “COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SINGLE, REALLY LIKES ORAL SEX, SLEEP WITH ME!” sign above my head in addition to a suit made entirely of green bands.

But it still makes me wonder, you know… what if…?