Is it just me, or do you also think about orgasms more when you aren’t really meant to be having them?

I’ve been having a few orgasms recently – on my own, of course – but I’m becoming more and more aware that I’m not really allowing myself to enjoy them. They’re fun, of course (why wouldn’t they be), and they also afford me the luxury of being able to revisit some of my favourite triggers, whereas I haven’t had the time otherwise.

It’s just become a… a thing I do, really.

The reason I mention this is that, with a healthy amount of spare time, I could be putting more appreciation into a nice orgasm, something that’s healthy and joyful and free. I dream about it often, thus:

ILB is masturbating on his back while spread-eagled in the middle of his bed. He has plenty of time to do so, and while doing so, is lost in glorious visions and imaginings. Eventually, one particular word or phrase is what tips him over the edge. He ejaculates spectacularly, his cum hitting his stomach and chest. He takes a deep breath in, lets out a juddering sigh/moan combination, and then takes the calm as an opportunity to drift off to sleep still covered in his own mess.

Or something like that.

I mean, it’s not impossible. I’ve done it before; I’m just too nervous to let myself do absolutely nothing (except let the cum trickle down my side like a nail polish video). I can relax when I’m tired, but if I’m too tired not to relax then how am I going to have the energy to bring myself to orgasm in the first place?

Maybe I shouldn’t have read Catch-22 after all. I’m seeing them all over the place now.

I’m making that my goal for next week, then. Listen to my body and act on what it’s trying to tell me. Relax, don’t stress so much, have an orgasm and enjoy it. You have the power here, ILB. Just use it.

Still, I’m going to have to wait – I have another fertility test on Tuesday and I’m not allowed to come at all until then. I shall just have to distract myself otherwise for the next couple of days.

Okay, so where’s that Star Wars box set?