Pity poor Lisa, for she is bored.
Pity poor Lisa, believing as she does that she is done with men or dating or sex. Pity poor Lisa, who would rather stay home with a big book of erotica than go outside and enjoy herself. Pity poor Lisa, who ends up blindfolded on a sofa while Belle and Shane have sex against a pillar and…
…wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.
If you see her on the couch, moaning to herself, writhing with herself, have pity. She is wanking through the unimaginable.
Appearance: Bedtime Stories, Series 1: “Blindfold” (2000)
Characters: Belle & Shane, plus Lisa
It has been A Hot Minute™ since I last featured Bedtime Stories, so it probably helps to review the setup. Belle (Kim “Dawson” Sill) likes sex and helps other people have some. That it, that’s the plot. Every episode has a new character introduced for her to help – they all end up with a happy ending, and more often than not Belle ends up naked in a variety of positions with rugged men, so she has her own happy ending too.
You see, this is the world of soft porn, where everything is easy and everyone is beautiful and candles burn for months on end without needing to be relit.
Lisa (Flower), who one must pity as I outlined above, is bored. Belle’s job is to entertain her, along with her rugged man friend Shane (Robert Davis, who hasn’t really done much else). “Good ol’ Jason Schnuit” is in this episode too, but I’m going to try not to mention him too much. Lisa, who it seems will go along with just about anything, spends a fair amount of time blindfolded – seemingly so she can learn some things about herself, focusing on her other senses.
Also, she can’t see Belle and Shane disrobing and getting into hot and heavy action. But we can.
So. Shane kisses Lisa and then Belle, and then as Lisa starts to masturbate at Mach 10 speed, Lisa takes Shane around the corner to have fun. Is Lisa meant to know about this, then? Listen to them in flagrante delicto and imagine what’s happening? Or are they just having sex for want of something to do? Answers on a postcard!
This scene, thankfully, is hot, although how much of that is down to the setting and how much to the music is unclear. Bedtime Stories seems to have a bank of sex scene music themes, you see, and this one is by far my favourite – a pleasingly catchy mix of drums and electric guitar noodling which never fails to turn me on, even if it’s just the memory of the scenes it accompanies (this one being one of ’em).
I should probably mention the actors too though, right? Well, Kim Dawson is incredibly alluring in a natural sort of way – all curves and hair with a pretty face – and, while disrobing, we get a healthy amount of time with her being topless while still wearing her jeans (which is my favourite look). She’s very much the star of this, veering between:
- having her breasts fondled
- being eaten out
- doing the YMCA
- getting railed from behind
- awkward neck kisses which don’t connect
- moaning like a banshee
- pretending to be attracted to Robert Davis
all while standing up against a faux marble pillar in her house brothel hotel mansion thing. In fact, both Kim Dawson and Robert Davis are quite good at this – not quite acrobatics, but there’s a fair degree of stamina involved in having sex standing up. Belle, sexual guru that she is, is clearly enjoying herself, with some classic sly/happy facial expressions.
Shane is… present, in a way. He does some things with his face which sway between amusing and terrifying, but he isn’t an unattractive man, nor is he less than adept in the whole Sex Acting Thing.
But what about poor, pitiable Lisa? Throughout the whole scene we have occasional cuts to her, very much enjoying herself too, with plenty of skin and some yummy moans from Flower. She’s meant to be spending time with her remaining senses, of course, but whether she’s just enjoying what’s in her head or touching herself to orgasm because what else is there to do?, it’s clearly working.
Hmmm, maybe she doesn’t need our pity after all.
For all I’ve said above, though, this really is one of my favourite scenes, and it’s one I’ve recently rediscovered, so that’s always nice. There’s something about the combination of not just one but two attractive ladies having fun in different ways, a willing craggy actor playing a warm body to writhe against, some nice scenery, and familiar music, that appeals to me.
That, and the fact that Belle and Shane are having sex, partly to stimulate Lisa, but mostly because they can. I like that trope.
I can’t quite get over the position of Lisa’s blindfold, though. A couple of inches higher and it’d be round her head like she’s a ninja.
How could you miss out on that opportunity?
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