You look at yourself, you’re an elf, and the shelf is just full of disappointing memories
Trends come and go, and your friends wanna know why you are just happy
Making crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they’ll just throw this stuff away…
I am in no way ready for Christmas. I’ve bought one present for one person, even though I calculated today that I should be having eight more. I’m not even sure what’s happening, with who, or when. Today’s TMI Tuesday is absolutely one hundred per cent mocking me for my lack of preparation.
Christmas has always been a difficult time for me, for a multitude of reasons. I almost always end up crying at Christmas – I’ve even got a song about it – hopefully this year will be better. But then again, I say that every year, and…
1. Would you rather have a cold December holiday season or a warm holiday season?
I discovered the answer to this today.
I don’t deal well with “cold”. Every year I suddenly seem to remember this around this point, but this year it seems to be even worse. It’s one of the chilliest Decembers we’ve had in a long time, my central heating only goes on for a couple of hours and only really appears to work effectively in the bathroom, and Peter the Heater – so my wife tells me – no longer works.
All of this adds up to a very cold ILB and he genuinely can’t take it. Even as I sit here typing, wearing three layers and in a room with closed windows and curtains drawn, I still feel like icicles are forming in my blood vessels.
I don’t like being too hot either, but at least you can combat that. Take off as many clothes as you want and eat some ice cream. I could deal with “warm”. Cold is genuinely beginning to hurt.
2. Would you rather help Father Christmas deliver presents or help Father Christmas in his workshop?
To really understand this question you have to have seen the film Arthur Christmas. It’s a good movie for many reasons, the main one being that it’s perhaps the only Christmas film with a viable explanation for how he does it all in one single night. I don’t have the physical strength to help out, but I’d very much like to stand on the deck of the ship and watch!
Hands aren’t my thing (my year 8 DT teacher told me so), so I’m fairly sure many, if not most, of the toys I made would be defective. While I do have fond memories of Raggy Dolls, I’m not entirely sure making my own version would be what I’m going for. It might be interesting, though!
3. Would you rather wear nice clothes all Christmas day or wear pyjamas?
My parents once bought me, quite unexpectedly, a Mario onesie. It was snuggly and warm, and I wore it on Christmas night and for most of the following morning. I even took it to 47’s house, in lieu of pyjamas, when I was staying there once.
Of course I’d prefer to wear something comfortable; that’s my preference. I also have no style or fashion sense, so putting on a Mario onesie is probably the closest you’ll get. However, there appears to be a trend within my family of buying me some variety of blue or grey jumper every year, so I have no excuse for not wearing something nice for Christmas…
Last week was “Christmas Jumper Day” at work and, in desperation, I went to Poundland and bought a jumper there. I’m not entirely sure what it’s made out of, but I might be a massive troll and wear that all day.
4. Would you rather eat fruit cake for two days straight or eat candy canes for two days straight?
I don’t like fruit cake, so I’ll go for candy canes.
My second girlfriend was surprised when I told her I don’t like fruit cake, and absolutely aghast to find out that I don’t like custard either. I once made her, on her request, a bowl of custard (and nothing else) to eat. She had a very “you’re going t eat it and you’re going to like it” attitude towards her family’s fruit cake recipe, but she never got around to making it and therefore I never had to eat it.
My family has a tradition of stirring the mixture for Christmas cake while making a wish. My uncle then brings the cake out on the day and lights it on fire.
No, I don’t understand either.
5. Right now would you rather eat gingerbread cookies or drink hot chocolate?
I’m cold, so I’ll go for hot chocolate. Hot chocolate reminds me of a couple of sex blogging friends, including Rose (for whom I once made some) and Bunny. Just to tie this post to the rest of the blog, y’know, since there hasn’t been a lot of sex in this.
Rose sat on my sister’s bed, drinking her hot chocolate, having just had a shower and wearing very little on her famously long legs…
I recently bought some special hot chocolate which is allegedly salted caramel flavour. It doesn’t taste of salted caramel or hot chocolate, but it is a warm, milky drink, so I’ve found myself quaffing it in large quantities. It’s not quite as good as the hot chocolate my Dad used to make me every morning at breakfast, but…!